Times-Tenth Avenue North

I know I need You
I need to love You
I love to see You, but it's been so long
I long to feel You
I feel this need for You
And I need to hear You, is that so wrong?

Now You pull me near You
When we're close, I fear You
Still I'm afraid to tell You, all that I've done
Are You done forgiving?
Oh can You look past my pretending?
Lord, I'm so tired of defending, what I've become
What have I become?


I hear You say,
"My love is over. It's underneath.
It's inside. It's in between.
The times you doubt Me, when you can't feel.
The times that you question, 'Is this for real? '
The times you're broken.
The times that you mend.
The times that you hate Me, and the times that you bend.
Well, My love is over, it's underneath.
It's inside, it's in between.
These times you're healing, and when your heart breaks.
The times that you feel like you're falling from grace.
The times you're hurting.
The times that you heal.
The times you go hungry, and are tempted to steal.
The times of confusion, in chaos and pain.
I'm there in your sorrow, under the weight of your shame.
I'm there through your heartache.
I'm there in the storm.
My love I will keep you, by My pow'r alone.
I don't care where you fall, where you have been.
I'll never forsake you, My love never ends.
It never ends."

Black or White

Upon looking over the way I usually make choices in my life. I’ve come to realize that I’m very black or white when it comes to my decisions and way of living. Even with the simpler things, I usually choose one extreme or the other. The other day someone asked me, what’s your favourite pizza? I answered, um meat lovers or…vegetarian!! I didn’t even realize they were polar opposites till that person’s reaction. I’m either hot or cold, not warm at all. In every single facet of my life. When I’m serious about school, nothing else matters, when I’m slacking…IM SLACKING. When im focused at work, nobody can come near me, when I’m diddle daddling, im literally just watching everyone do everything… When Im serious about my health, when I’m into someone or something…I tend to give my all, every ounce of my being, or absolutely nothing, zilch, nada.

Is it a lack of balance in my life or just a sense of knowing what I want…
Im not sure, but I certainly know that I don’t want to be mediocre…I don’t want to do a half (ass) job on anything. Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea if I just started to do things a little more relaxed. Maybe then Id get a sense of balance in my life, maybe then things would be…well…balanced… I guess question is;

Shall I strive for greatness, or settle for…balance.?

Strive for greatness.

Along-Remedy Drive

It’s not everything it seems - the world and its dreams
Slipping like water through my hands tonight
All the things I thought would fill me up inside
Left me empty here - and now I know why

All along I was looking for something else
You’re something else
All along I was looking for something more
You’re so much more
I finally found what I could never see before
You’ve always been the one that I was looking for

All of my castles in the sand - washed away again
And I’m left back where I began tonight
The only thing that can ever fill me up
Has been right in front of me all the time

I won’t miss you - I won’t miss you this time
I say I want you - yeah I want you in my life

On feelings.

Is everything determined by what we say or do, or is it the feeling behind it. The love, the anger, the humility whatever we do, there is a certain emotion backing it up. So it isn’t what we say, its what we feel when we say it. It could be the most simple of phrases, “I like your jeans”, could really mean, wow I’m so attracted to you.... Or it could simply mean, I like your jeans. Nonetheless, people tend to be so censored these days, especially in my city, it is as if showing emotion is disregarded. Im a victim of this aswell although my face usually mirrors my emotion. But in terms of the things I say, I rarely say what I truly want to say. I’m not saying everyone is like this, I often come across the sweetheart who voices out his thoughts, or the asshole in that sense. Yes, we need to control what we say, but to a certain extent. What we say reflects who we are, its not a matter of coming u with an extravagantly structured grammatically correct phrase. It’s a matter of voicing out what you feel.
For example, these are the same;

“I really need someone like you” (simple, direct, straightforward)
Or
“Maybe we should do something sometime” (so indirect, ambiguous, confusing)

Im not saying that this is the case at all times, but it generally is. So does it matter whether we say one or the other, if the only thing that matters is the feeling behind it? Well, yes, because one can evoke a feeling better than the other. We have an extensive vocabulary for a reason. Otherwise phrases would simply consist of, “ I hungry, get food” Or something of the sort. So, say what you FEEL, and use words to describe those precious feelings . Sometimes we need to hold back of course. There are inappropriate situations, moments, and just times for voicing out your heart.